shanming님의 프로필.::I Wish I'm An Enginee...사진블로그리스트기타  |  도구 도움말 |
|
.::I Wish I'm An Engineer with Many Beautiful Human Faces::.It'S aLL AbOuT A LiQiuD DrEaM 2008-08-16 "...think about the little things that make life great"Where dream shatters, sorrow and sense of suffering grows.
As if in a life stage of insomnia, in the darkness you fail to leave the soul in peace.
And you start to question: why the most beautiful moment doesn't last?
By right of quietness of the night, song from the heaven plays as you envision.
Happiness is in you if you know where you are going to.
Life isn’t about having a destination, but rather of having an inner awareness of direction. So are you on the 'right' track?  2008-08-04 intelligence or stupidity?Have you ever experienced life stage at which you felt so lost and confused? Everyone does. As a matter of fact, I was experiencing. And thanks to the Buddha nature that resides in each and everyone of our kind, I haven't had a moment to see things in such a clear way.
The journey starts from deep confusion of a purpose. A purpose for this life towards its completeness.
You thought through hard-working you could stay at the very top of your kind; you thought having passion and love you would keep your things moving progressively and impressively; you thought being selfless you could always be satisfied and stay happy; you thought bravely facing the reality and choosing to be the 'Autobots' could preserve your innocence, and you thought... It's in fact, mostly self-conflicting.
There're mistakes led to the confusion:
- If you thought adversary, the enemy, would ever change its position as 'teachers', it only could be your stupidity.
- If you ever believed you're being understood, it only could be your superficial judgement.
- If you ever enjoyed the feeling of being so close to perfect, it only could be your provincial outlook. As deeper we perceived, the clearer and simplier our purpose to the sights. This time I'd rather be more influential than judgemental. :p
2008-05-23 逆境中，我成长For the first time I thanked Buddah for bring me to Sydney. Harsh reality is always the most strict teacher who likes to push his students so hard until they start to behave and perform. And I, unfortunately, was being one of slowest and the most stubbon students who hopelessly and desperately failed to comply. But I still appreciated to have these precious lessons, and I know it's impossible to escape from his supervision like how I recklessly skipped my lectures. In stead of cushioned on the puffy dreamy life in Brisbane, I'd rather stick to this adversity, in which I feel proud to stand straight with all my might and chase away the weakness inside. It might sound like self-torturing, but that rewards me with a sharper learning curve and extraordinary competence.
Sometimes I amazed how realistic I could be. "The Miss Kiasu", Sharmaine.  2008-04-29 Hero in youI've been through the wrost week ever: overdued works, assignments, and lots of pressure on accommodation! It felt like being sentenced to the prison that fenced by sturdy blocks of money and gold, which makes you so reluctant to fight for freedom.
It's been 8 months since I moved to Sydney, but still I couldn't position myself in a comfortable situation like what happened in Brizzy. Or maybe that's what I deserved, for being a SHANGHAINESS. So be it. Since the fate has so been decided.
Sometimes when you're alone, you need to be the cheer leader of yourself to keep things moving. Thinking of the value that lies in me and what it will bring to the family, this maybe the best words to bring courages and strength:
"...I believe there's a hero in all of us that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride. Even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams..."
-- Aunt May
2008-04-23 我们单位里新来的应届毕业生(转贴）公司新配给我一个助理.今天,我,助理以及我们老总,去局里开会.会毕,领导要写个注意事项给我们.我和老总当时拿笔都不太方便.我随口问助理..你带笔了吗? 他马上回答:带了. 然后,几双眼睛看着他..接下来的十秒钟内..他睁着那双无辜的大眼,看着我们三个. 于是,我打破这个尴尬的僵局..补充一句..借我用用.. 又是尴尬的十秒过去了..他才拿过自己的背包里找到一只笔,递给了我.然后我才递给领导.. 回来,在车上..我们老总问他..为什么要让XX(我的名字)补充一句,你才把笔递给领导呢?就不能聪明点吗?? 他很气愤的大声在车里说道:我故意的,因为我觉的你们在利用我.. 顿时...车里又是尴尬的十秒...
此人是考试进我们公司的..笔试成绩很高....尤其是英语.. 但是..他每次跟老外沟通都基本上是用汉语喊话+肢体语言.. 我甚郁闷啊... 今天,会毕还要和领导合影.他接过相机,开始低头研究...我们老总和领导摆了好久的POSE..他还没有抬头.. 我叫他快照... 他说:“等会啊.这是我第一次摸数码相机,研究下” 我现在有点拿他当偶像了
其实,我理解每个踏上社会的新人..因为我也是这么过来的...而且，我能接受笨的人..坚决不接受蠢的人..连我们客户看见他干活都说..他是属驴的..打一下走一步....懒的要命...有份资料让他翻译..翻译好了以后递给我说.. 哎..你去帮我打印出来..我直接骂他脸上了...你的工资我也一起帮你领了吧… 我还是觉的这个不能拿他是新人做借口..完全是个人素质...
他跟我说...是老板的朋友的朋友的朋友..认识他父母..他父母送礼给了老板的朋友的朋友的朋友...所以,才能来我们公司考试...谁知道考的还不错..管人事的那位大姐..就顺水人情了啊... =..=今天老总找我谈话了.他一个劲问我，现在的大学有没有教过社交礼仪这门课...我都无语了...
刚让他去送份资料给局里领导看...我让他打车去..然后坐公车回来..结果人家老先生....坐公交去的..打车回来的...说什么送去的时候他不累..回来了。.他累了..就打了...
现在我只能是说..把工作给他讲明白..就拿今天送资料这事来说...他回来找我报销..我一顿生气... 他还不解..一个劲的问我...为什么生气..我就说..打车去..是因为领导急着要..你要快去送...坐公车回来是因为公司没什么急事..你可以节约成本..他马上大叫一声:你TMD(他的口头禅,我都听习惯了)不早说明白啊.
他帮我接了个电话..是个搞推销的...卖办公用品...我说这个事是出纳那边负责..你找那个大姐问问我们要不要吧..我们出纳大姐说。.已经买过了..让他推了...结果....十分钟过去后..我看他还在那聊...我就过去问他..怎么还不挂，他来了句...X姐,我们还是买他们的东西吧...挺好的....真的... 我气死了...就说了句气话..说..你想买..去给老总打申请... 他真的去打了啊… 总把我叫过去一顿骂...说他怎么又管起公司买东西来了...
他口语不灵...不管人家客户说什么..他都YES...很多事..客户就以为他明白了...结果我就问他什么事...他就说..他也没搞懂...我说,那你为什么不问清楚,或者说,直接告诉客户你听不懂..让他们换个简单直接的说法给你...他冲我大吼一嗓子：这么丢脸的事...我可干不出来...
我现在到哪谈客户都带着他...就拿前几天去南宁东盟博览会吧...文莱的客户带来好多资料...很沉...我一看时间快来不及了..就也自己去帮忙...累的我都直不起腰来的时候..突然发现...他站在那一直看着...我就说..你也过来帮着他们弄下吧..他来了句,我为什么要做啊???我说, 帮客户多做点你力所能及的事..你的业务才比较好开展啊..结果他来了句...太沉了..我搬不了 老娘搬了那么多啊... 果真..他就一直看着我干完...然后,也许是有人之前教他要拍我的MP吧...跑上来说:X姐,你真厉害,像个女强人.我有你一半就好了...
他没什么事可做了..实际上..是我没什么事敢安排他做了...他就溜达到设计那边去....以下是现场对话 他:X哥,你收我当徒弟吧 设计:啊?你想干吗? 他:我想当设计 设计:呵呵，设计可不是那么好当的.很累. 他:累啥啊,你天天就坐这里没事干,动动鼠标. 一阵沉默....总监已经开始耷拉脸了.. 设计:你想学设计可以自己去报班. 他:报班不是得花钱吗? 有一阵沉默..... 设计:那我也是收费的. 一阵沉默后..总监喝水...同时..老先生突然说道: 那你说我跟王总商量下,他能让你教我吗? 旁边的设计已经开始在干咳的时候.. 我在这屋就听到炸雷一般的暴笑声啊... 我们有个女设计捂着肚子就冲近来跟我说... 快把他领回来...
在南宁..我和他看工人干活的时候就聊天解闷，我问他...你有女朋友吗?他说...有..我说,哦..呵呵..挺好的..也工作了??他说,恩. 我比较八卦的又问..你们是同学吧?他说,是啊..4年大学同学. 我说,哦..那也在北京工作?他沉默后..(好象是走神了..又像陷入了无限的遐想中去了) 我叫他....哎..问你呢..他说..哦..她和他老公一起干生意呢.. 我差点摔地上没起来... 我说...她老公?? 他说,恩.我们分手了..
我们请文莱的客户吃饭...我和老总坐陪...老总觉的他也在南宁呢..不叫他不合适..就也叫他去了...菜都上来了...我们老总一举杯说..我们欢迎远道而来的你们啊...客户就都端起杯子来.. 在大家一饮而尽的时候...这哥们突然起身说...干了!...才喝了自己的酒...把我们老总给吓的呀....
吃到后面...我们客气的问,客人吃饱了吗..客人都说吃饱了...我说,不然再来点米饭吧.一定要吃饱哦.不然我们可担当不起.客人直推辞,说饱了饱了.不幸的事就在这个时候发生了... 老先生突然,冲着门外大喊:服务员..给我来两个馒头... 文莱客人吓的一哆嗦...问我他在喊什么. 我只能尴尬的笑笑说,用英语说..他想加点水.. 这时...他好象发现火星一样的回头看着我...十秒钟后...他用蹩脚的英语对客户说.. Oh,IsaidIjava. 我觉的我额头上的三条线...已经很明显了
我们去局里开会...我让他带个本子记录...回来,我们开碰头会..我问他..哪哪哪领导怎么说的?? 他茫然的看着我。...我说..看着我干吗...你没记吗??他突然大叫:我TMD以为你自己记呢 恩恩。..以上镜头发生在我们老总面前....
老先生突然冲到屋子里..对我说了如下的话: X姐,我觉的公司里的人勾心斗角.都看不起我. 我说,你想太多了 他突然很委屈的说。..那怎么他们看见我就笑... 我说,他们看见你笑,可能是觉的你挺可爱的(良心啊..我自己都想抽自己嘴巴了) 他突然又很愤慨的说,他们就是觉的我们新人好欺负... 我说,你想太多了..可能有点误会吧.. 他:不是误会,我听说的多了,就是想踩着我往上爬.. 我真的想大喊啊....他们根本不用踩你....你本来就是公司的最低层啊...
这些话发生在20分钟前 他:X姐,我想成为商场上的巨子. 我忍.... 哦,呵呵，抱负不小. 他:真的，我是说真的.我将来一定要像王总一样. =..=我们老总一年能有个几百万就不错了... 我:呵呵..行啊..努力做,一定行的. 他:你有什么话想提点我吗？ 我愕然...没..没有啊.. 他:我知道,你们职场上的人都很多心眼,都是自己为自己的. 我忍.... 你也是在职场上了啊... 他:所以,我也很多心眼啊... 忍不住了... 你回去做事吧
我在回来的地铁上仔细回味了和这位助理先生相处来的半个多月... 恩恩...原来他留给我的...是如此荒诞可笑的经历... 突然又想起来...还是前几天东盟的时候... 我们俩打车带客户去南宁市里买东西（会上要用的）...车上为了解除尴尬气氛，我就问客人的一些很平常的问题..比如多少孩子啊...男的还是女的啊... 谁知道客户是个极其爱家的人...一提到孩子，就滔滔不绝的说孩子的事...我心想，说就说吧...总比大家都僵在那里好...就在这位客人说的兴头上...我也应付的时候...在副驾驶上的老兄...突然大声唱了起来... 我送你送到千里之外......·##%￥* 司机都很诧异的看了看他......
很多啊... 比如...他会当着我的面说... 女人最小心眼了，或者，女人最花心了.1 B# n+ K& U' y" `( m 去南宁吃粉...他会当着一屋子吃粉的人大声的对我说..他这里的人总吃粉..长的都跟粉是的了..
2008-04-20 转贴：论工作：
1.对待薪酬:不管公司加不加你薪水,只要你还在这个公司一天,就请努力专心的做事。
2.对待每一件事:努力认真去做好每一件事。只要你想做，总有法子可以做到的。
3.做好本分工作.技术人员有时候对PM分配自己一些较没技术含量的工作会很不满.记住,都是做事而已.无论怎样,分配到你的工作,请你做好.孔子尚且养过马,薛仁贵尚且当过伙头军.我认为,做好一个茶叶蛋，比做砸了原子弹更有意义。不以技术难度定优劣，都是做事而已。
4.团队的交流,配合开发:
1)别人的失误要及时指出，当然了，语气要婉转.这样PM才能调整进度，别发现了错误隐瞒不报.
2)对于自己不懂的环节,勇敢承认自己的缺点，大胆去估计进度，并认真学习.
3)如果可能,每天汇报进度,也许只是几分钟,让PM看看你的构思,你的成果.PM是最熟悉业务的,他能指出你的做法是否正确.根据这些,你和他才能估计进度,这样,整个项目的进度才算可控.
4)学会承担更多的责任.把困难的任务交给你,通常意味着只有你才能完成.请你好好享受这种"唯一"的乐趣.
5.出了问题，努力想办法去解决。别人或者不在意你的能力，但很在意你的态度.
论做人:
1.自视高谓之骄，怀激愤谓之躁.做人应该尽量避免骄傲,浮躁.
.要在3年达到别人10年才能达到的高度，就意味着3年内要承受10年的苦.请你衡量.
3.不要拿社会标准来衡量自己的价值，而应该用心灵的意义去裁决.
4.悉尼很浮躁，越是浮躁的地方，越要扎实下来，厚积薄发.
5.调整自己的心态,不要太在乎一得一失.你目前所努力的,其实不是为了成功,而是为了当成功的机会来临时,你能把握住而已.为了成功和为了成功把握机会,两者的区别很重要。
6.做人应该谦虚.而且不要有自虐狂的心理,并不是每个人都会针对你.
7.高手是别人认为的.不是自封的,不要自大.
8.坚持理想,理想不难,难的是坚持.
Thoughts from a Sunday morning strollThis morning when I passby the monument just a few steps away from home, I saw a group of people who's having a ceremony in oddly Aussie army suit. Can't help with my jumpy and wild thoughts, this reminds the story my grandpa told long long time ago about my grand-families, which has been struggled through the most terrible wars and revolutions since the fall of Qing Dynasty. Looking back, it's like a seed of royalty and pride of a family, a community and a nation that had been since deeply implanted. Strongly believed that I was so gracefully blessed by my ancestors who was lucky enough to have the privileges to do good deeds to a broad community before the disaster came, I could only be satisfied and feel proud if I could pursuit their wills. Sometimes reality is rather cruel enough to distory my little efforts and childish plans; and not to mention how easily, rapidly and deadly to be overtaken by the intrusive cultures...So the conculsion is: No one seems to remeber where they came from and what they were supposed to do. Sometimes I even wish that I'm not the only one who was being left out in this insanity.
I guess it's the time to start a self-taught Tai Chi course, a course that teaches people how to balance their soul and motions in the chaos.
2008-03-29 It explains why I was furiously slient for a whileIt's extremely upsetting to have a series of nasty encounters everywhere in the city, even at my home! I suddenly feel so haunted to see so many lazy and aggressive faces and to feel the coldness and fakeness of the atmsphere all around! It starts from a little conflict that is so trail to notice, then grows to many exposures of nastiness and finally develops to the most evil hatred that I felt so innocently involved!
The moral is: stay away from people who's always being so negative and jealousy. Taking advantage of other's generous and tolerance will have to pay!
There's one thing even my parents dosn't understand: happyness is priceless. 2007-12-05 停不下来Damn, I feel so sick of this life! So sick! What the hell am I doing here? A tightened life again. A wrecked life again. And weakness is all I admitted.
这样下去不是办法。我不想只是看着自己的生活这样一点一点瓦解下去。Nothing gained, nothing.
我想我大概就是传说中那种所谓劳碌命的人。不是有强迫症，也不是不甘心做做老百姓，更不是有明确目标的人。I just want to live my life to the fullest. 是不是太贱了点？
停不下来的人，有恐惧但没有痛苦。
So I decided to go UNSW for part-time study. Yet, a silly decision.
2007-08-28 I've settled in a job in SydneyIt happened finally...like I said, it's DESTINY. Tracing back to the time when I was doing my first flash movie clip for my very first web page nearly 5 years ago, I wrote " Sydney is the place I want to go the most "... So everything happened as if it was so perfectly planned. But I'm speechless now for the uncertainty of how much I really like this place. It's true that Sydney is full of people from Shanghai, which was one thing I was so desperately hoping for... and not until now I realized I was undergone great changes within. If not for my parents, I would turn my back on Sydney straightaway. Working in one of the most significant towers located in the heart of Sydney is just attractiveless~~~ I can't stop loving the quiet and peaceful country life back in Brisbane. I know it will take me a long time to get use to this noisy and fickle place. :( 2007-03-01 支持向量机前两天把libsvm的readme仔细研究了一下，蛮好玩的。。。下面来介绍一下： SVM, Support Vector Machine , 簡而言之它是個起源跟類神經網路有點像的東西， 不過現今最常拿來就是做分類 (classification)。 也就是說，如果我有一堆已經分好類的東西 （可是分類的依據是未知的！） ，那當收到新的東西時， SVM 可以預測 (predict) 新的資料要分到哪一堆去。 聽起來是很神奇的事（如果你覺得不神奇，請重想一想這句話代表什麼： 分類的依據是未知的！，還是不神奇的話就請你寫個程式 解解看這個問題）， 也很像要 AI 之類的高等技巧... 不過 SVM 基於 統計學習理論 可以在合理的時間內漂亮的解決這個問題。 另一個值得一提的是 regression。 簡單來說，前面都是拿 SVM 來做分類 (classification), 所以 label 的值都是 discrete data、或說已知的固定值。 而 regression 則是求 continuous 的值、或說未知的值。 你也可以說，一般是 binary classification, 而 regression是可以預測一個實數。 比如說我知道股市指數受到某些因素影響, 然後我想預測股市.. 股市的指數就是我們的 label, 那些因素量化以後變成 attributes。 以後蒐集那些 attributes 給 SVM 它就會 預測出指數(可能是沒出現過的數字)，這就要用 regression。 那樂透開獎的號碼呢？ 因為都是固定已知的數字， 很明顯我們應該用一般 SVM 的 classification 來 predict。 Facts nearly make me believe that our brain is just a bio-drived 'calculator'. And that's where it comes the term called "Artificial Intelligence". 4 days, from scratch to something like this...Exhausted!!!...and it was just a start...I feel happy though, finally there is something functioning in the way I expected...some ppl asked: why electrical engineers have to do programming? I don't know...what do you reckon? 还好没听Sandar大小姐的话，用Java Swing写GUI和做这些database linkage，大概要花上我4个礼拜。。。不过郁闷的是我的Macbook没有用武之地了。。。就等presentation的时候拿出去撑撑门面算了~~~ 2007-02-26 My Time Awareness Campaign今天是back to uni的第一天，早上6点打开窗看看天，心情很好。:) 这一次，决定找回被我遗忘了3个月的节奏。So now, I'm ready to go for another battle, the one that I've been frightened ever since I felt like lossing all my hopes and ambitions. I call this "the time awareness campaign", which I regard as the last chance to prove my ability in time management. Emily讲我有强迫症，其实我只是trying to be positive。我没有告诉她，我找到了generate happiness的线索。 2007-02-16 翻箱倒柜，找到的是洒满一地的回忆要开学了，于是开始整理心情。戆小宁刚，侬啊要开始收骨头了。哎，听的我冷汗一把，各么现在就开始收骨头好了，我想。
无意间翻出一个硬盘，于是开始拼凑回忆。蛮好玩，蛮心酸，蛮感动，蛮多事体～～～ 各么其实只是回忆罢了。
他们说，Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. :p 2007-02-11 Respect or Love? or Both?I met a gal on the day I went for IELTS test and we had a little talk while waiting for speaking test. She just graduated from Mining Engineering and we came to the agreement that gals in engineering have to be smart in order to gain respect from guys. That's some how important cuz I guess most gals like me don't want to be judged by guys from appearance, such as waist and cup size, or whatever superficial, especially when they get bored and you're the only one or few females left in the lecture hall or stuck in the lab~~~talk stopped here as my name being called, but my thoughts continued...
It happened to me that I thought I gained too much 'respect'. And it became something that I wanted to get rid of so desperately hoping people could see me as a happy gal. Fact shown that I was being extremely stupid. I need respect indeed. Glories and faith are not to be trashed for heaven's sake. All I urged is to learn to love and be loved...Having both is hard, but everything starts from self-enrichment.
I'd say thanks to those who motivated me, including Will Smith, as in the 'Pursuit of Happyness'.
I feel so proud to be a part of ITEE. 2007-02-10 The Power of Words"It was similar to watching a prostitute dressed in a ballgown talking about celibacy", quoted from today's Courier-Mail Headline, which caught my immediate attention when I was passing a News Agency. Strong, ironic, sharp, and potentially serious disputes. The words were thrown by a MP and straight pointing to Australia Premier Peter Beattle. The most brilliant part was when Peter asked for apology for the insulting, the MP answered "I should apologise, so I wholeheartedly and sincerely apologise to the prostitutes of Queensland." Hahahahaha, it's hard to ask for apology when people don't want to apolgise at all...I know nothing about Australia politics, but I started to like their style. Wish to see such intensive debates between parties in China's 'parliament' before my life ends, seriously. 2007-02-01 i'M SeriOusLy iN LovE wiTh mY LittLe MaCbOoKThis is nearly the 30 ++ hours I've been sitting in front of it! Keep discoverying new stuffs and can't stop enjoying them!!! I've got to go back to it in minutes...Here're a few random shots from fantastic "Photo Booth"! How COOL! 4 pics: Shock --> Touch --> Smell --> and lastly Inspect! I came up to the idea just few seconds ago, don't be freaked out, I'm sure you'll feel the same when you have a chance to sit in front of that "tiny eye"! 2007-01-28 忧郁不是一种病。所以，不生病，只呻吟超喜欢Simple Plan的一首歌，歌里唱道：
Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place ike somehow you just don't belong and no one understands you? Do you ever wanna runaway? Do you lock yourself in your room with the radio on turned up so loud that no one hears you screaming? ...... Do you wanna be somebody else? Are you sick of feeling so left out? Are you desperate to find something more before your life is over? Are you stuck inside a world you hate? Are you sick of everyone around With their big fake smiles and stupid lies While deep inside you're bleeding? ...... 我知道有很多像我这样，幸福得活着却没有快乐的感觉。反而是受了伤，或者只是静静地看别人快乐着的时候才领会存在的意义。 如果人是为受磨练而来到这个世上的，那么我说：我不怕颠倒了昼夜，怕的是过没有形状的生活。
前两天朋友Fwd给我的email里这么写着：
Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your DESTINY. 呵呵，Destiny,是重还是轻呢？ 我祈祷，不是因为虔诚，而是为了把心虚驱逐出境。  2007-01-15 Wouldn't it be good?Have you ever
danced like no one's watching
sung like nobody's listening
worked like you don't need the money
loved like you've never been hurt
partied like there's no tomorrow
lived like it's heaven on earth ?
Fancy life doesn't last. But every effort we put into our daily life makes those things happening.
 To try is to risk failure
To hope is to risk despair
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To live is to risk dying
The person who risks nothing may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply can not learn, feel, change, grow, love and live. But please remember to risk RESPONSIBLY.
 2007-01-13 Nobody's fool刚刚翻出一篇以前自己写过的Blog，我自己觉得蛮经典的。所以拿出来温习一下。
标题是：《老猫》
以前外婆家养着一只老猫，很丑。我不喜欢它，外婆却当它是宝。后来，外婆家动迁，外婆把它送给以前的邻居。3天以后，人家打电话来，叫我外婆把它领回去。它竟然躲在人家的冰橱下面绝食三天两夜。
有一个朋友，酷爱猫狗。一次她叫我去她家看狗狗。吃饭的时候，我赏了那狗一块肉。我走的时候，它要跟我一起回家。 它们都是宗桑，它们怎么样，我们不怪它们，不怨它们。不是所有的女人都是猫，也不是所有的男人都是狗。我们是人，要做忠实的猫，还是馋老的狗，选择在自己。 看到朋友在MSN上放上这么句话：there is something inside you that worth fighting. 很有同感。
Righteous ≠ Foolish < Weakness
三字经里面说：玉不琢，不成器；人不学，不知义。
相信科学和哲学的人，到头来，是很难把命运交给老天的。
2007-01-07 blah blah blah...Are you reading my blog, sometimes I wonder. I've had a terrible depression for long until I couldn't think and react. Now it takes even longer for me to realize something, you know. :p Our lives are so brittle but minds are so strong, yea...... I still remebered how old auntie Irene teased herself for not being strong-minded and extremely desirous when getting involved in a lottery game. Though I reckoned she made a false argument by lacking knowledge in probability, she's got a point here, or I may simply conclude it into a proverb 'There is a will, there is a way'. It's hard to write it down in words perhaps as the science to date has not given any standard measurements in the amount of will of human being and yet we're not being taught that excessive will can be dangerous yet necessary after all?
A will is all I need. Not passion.
And I know the value of one's life does not always lie on money or love.
P.S. Emails are not by accident. I felt too empty to reply. A good wish is always there, as I am.
2007-01-03 2007, time to tough myself upIt's 4.00am, I hardly remembered the formulae and their derivations that I've spent the whole night with...I just felt hard to concentrate, to keep away from my super annoying computer, to keep fancy and unreal stuff out of my mind, to worry how am I going to 'adventure' my last and the toughest semester...urm, another 20++ pages to finish off the chapter before I can get some sleep? I'm piling up stress once again hoping it brings back my motivation. (sob sob...)
2007 is a disaster year, air crash, car crash, on the very 1st and 2nd day of the year...But life needs to go on like how it does in the past a few thousand or million years... May all my friends are being blessed with love and hope, and to live happily thereafter. (Is that a bit off the point? Anyway, a good wish does no harm at all. :P) 2006-12-28 Hold on...今天跑步的时候听到歌里面唱道:" I can be trusted now, I swear to you I can ..."
忽然间有种感动，想到曾经因为成长所以必须承受的疼痛。
有时候我相信人的心是相通的。
转眼又是一年，I still can't fall out of love with my days back in Shanghai. 男人女人们都忙着上班赚钱。没人有兴趣entertain一下我和Lisa妹妹。外加一堆功课和due date, 我只好暗暗期许，等这一切结束的时候，奖励自己一辆白色的Yaris. 2006-12-18 It's too hard to be a personAgain I started experiencing horrible weakness deep inside, kinda of confusion, lost of motivation, and many other struggles within myself...it's like being surrounded by numerous happiness-sucking Dementors, which bring only despair and emptiness to the soul. I know the day will come eventually, like now, living a wretched life as the consequence of being apart from family and closest friends. And yet that's not the saddest thing, it's the WEAKNESS that eats me up inside upsetting me. What I gonna do? How to gain courage to fight aginst myself? Or am I groaning without suffering at all again? Should I consistently tell myself to be strong if I actually stubbornly think I'm just a slacker after all? ...... Leaving so many questions unanswered, I gotta shut down my brain for now.
Lucky I got Lisa with me, some one likes to say: 弄个只女宁么希望了...
偶阿晓得偶是super淘浆糊分子. :p 这次去了Sydney我就开始后悔当初笨得没去UNSW了。要不这会儿就应该跟Betty Julia她们过typical Shanghainess life来。向往死我了！77城隍庙怪味豆，桂花酒酿，特自功德林素鸭，感觉就是不一样的呀！ |
|||||||||||||||||||||
쪽지 보내기
RSS 피드 구독
친구에게 소개하기
Live.com에 추가
온라인 인맥에 추가
알림 서비스 등록
|
|
